


The Watcher

by Makimono



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: "If I were Nadja I'd kill you." - Zexnssei, Canon Compliant, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Fantasy, POV Experimental, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 02:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20369137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makimono/pseuds/Makimono
Summary: Youare there when Tsukishima Kei is born, and you are also there when he gets his heart broken for the first time. Watching him grow is the journey you have chosen for yourself.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nadjabear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadjabear/gifts).
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You always write fics for Abbie. You promised me a Kei fic, so when is my turn? You don’t remember? Well, here are the receipts from two years ago, and also last year, and also a few months ago. Give me a birthday fic!”  
\- Nadja, 2017-2019 (learning from the best: James Charles)
> 
> Anyway, I had no idea what to write because I’m awful at short stories, but then I thought of trying a 2nd POV. I’m not a fan of this POV because it’s unconventional, so I must think of a way to make it writeable (?) for me. I came up with this. It’s experimental. It’s like I’m trying to squeeze in 100k words into 20k lol. I hope you guys like it! <strike>Don’t ask me about TOSOTC.</strike>
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADJA! And I’d like to thank Gabzi for helping me. :3
> 
> Happy reading!

It’s the beginning of autumn in Japan when a healthy baby boy is born. His skin is fairly red after he cries, and the nurses can’t stop calling him a handsome one as they clean and wrap him in a plain white blanket. His mother’s joyful tears fall harder when she holds his fragile body, stroking his face and tiny fingers with a look of endearment. Everyone present in the room should understand that there’s no greater gift for a mother who has been expecting.

“You’re very adorable. Welcome to the world,” she greets her son with a smile. At first glance, her husband who stands right beside her bed may seem like an unapproachable person with a pair of thick glasses and messy hair, but it only takes him a touch against his son’s cheek to cry. He tries covering his mouth, perhaps because he thinks an adult man shouldn’t show his emotional side. Too bad for him, he’s too loud to hide it.

“Tsukishima-san, have you thought of a name?” the short-haired nurse asks, a clipboard and pen in her hands.

“Yes. It’s Kei, like the firefly,” the mother says before looking back down as if she can’t be apart from her son for more than three seconds. “We searched for a name months ago, and Kei was the best one we came up with.”

“Tsukishima Kei? It’s very nice.”

_Tsukishima Kei._

_You_ finally get to hear his name this time; Tsukishima Kei. It fits someone with beautiful golden hair and eyes—you can’t see them now, but you know how he’ll turn out to be based on his parents’ similar appearances. If he grows to be more like his mother, then his complexity will be darker. If he follows his father, then he’ll be taller than most people. No matter what happens in the future, he’ll become someone who can live up to his own name.

Later in the afternoon, his father picks his older brother, Akiteru, from school and drives back to the hospital. They come in when his mother is talking to a friend about the rooms she’s prepared for when the kids are old enough to fight the fear of the monsters under the bed. It’s amusing to watch Akiteru get more ecstatic than anybody so far, how he swears to sacrifice everything for his little brother while tearing up. He’s no older than six, yet he comprehends the concept of treasuring a sibling better than many kids of his age.

With this, you know that Tsukishima Kei is a lucky one because he’s loved by his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who are you?
> 
> (I just realized now that the title and premise of this story is creepy af)


	2. Chapter Two

Kei’s family is considered middle-class. His father works as a computer science professor at Tohoku Institute of Technology in Miyagi, while his mother is a housewife who enjoys taking parts in the neighborhood association, earning a bit of money for herself. They never struggle to pay their bills on time or eat at a fine dining restaurant anytime they want, but they can’t afford designer bags or traveling to Europe every summer.

Their two-story traditional house contains five bedrooms and two bathrooms, which is more than enough for four people to live in as they can still spare two extra rooms for guests who rarely come over. Since nobody is passionate about gardening, they let wild plants such as purple azaleas and forest grass thrive naturally on the small land surrounding the house. The only notable tree they have is the cherry blossom planted on the front yard. It’s taller than the outer walls, so passersby can watch it bloom and fall in season.

The place that’s already warm and accommodating has increased tenfold after Kei became a part of this life. Everyone says that he’s happier than most babies out there, and they’re right. Four months after he was born, he learns to cackle, and he never stops doing it ever since. When people clap at him, he joins them in a little dance by wiggling his arms. He’s also very thoughtful since he doesn’t cry much at night and sleeps easily, so his parent can always get enough rest.

Sometimes when everyone is busy and leaves him in the crib, _you_ take over and watch after him because you don’t want such a cute baby to be lonely. Once, the colorful stars and moons hanging above his head almost fall, so you come to his rescue in the form of his mother. He sees you like a longtime friend and laughs along with you. People might think that he’s amused by something else, but the two of you know it better; you share a connection that no one else will understand.

When he’s six months old, he grows two upper teeth, and his hair becomes thicker after losing it a few times. The soft strands look almost translucent under direct light, but you can already tell that part of him will resemble his father’s. He then masters the way of crawling to reach the plastic toys he wants, although he still needs to learn not to chew on everything he holds. You can’t wait to witness more of his firsts because just like his family, you’ve been with him for all this time.

“—but Yamashita cracked all twelve eggs in the box instead of just two because he wasn’t listening when Fukada-sensei explained the step-by-step process,” Akiteru says as he leans against the crib, intently locking eyes with Kei whose expression is indifferent. For almost half a year, Akiteru has been doing the ritual of telling Kei about his days at school. It’s only a few weeks before Kei turns one, so he won’t fully understand a conversation until sometime later. Akiteru is aware of it, and he doesn’t seem to care as he keeps going.

“Akiteru, why did you leave your socks at the door?!” Just before Akiteru proceeds with the story, his mother suddenly shouts from somewhere outside. The wide-open bedroom door must contribute to the deafening volume of her voice.

“I’m sorry, Kaa-san!” Akiteru shouts back, but he doesn’t leave to clean his mess as his eyes drift back to his younger brother. “So then Fukada-sensei shared our eggs to another group who hadn’t done theirs, so we didn’t waste anything. She stayed by our side until we shaped and baked the cookies. We didn’t burn anything, and the cookies were delicious! I brought some home, but Kaa-san said you’re still too young to eat them. I’ll make you the cookies when you’re older, okay?”

“Coo-kie.”

Akiteru is immediately taken by surprise, eyes going wide. “…what was that? Kei, did you just say ‘cookie’?”

Kei responds by laughing, but Akiteru runs to their mother to tell her about what just happened. You recall the time he was told about babies’ first word—his was a simple “hello”—so he knows how important it is and how sad that he got to be the only one hearing it. Regardless of the absence of proof, his mother believes him and calls his father who’s coincidentally is on a break at work. Despite being on the other side of the phone, he’s just as thrilled and goes on by sharing the news to his faculty fellows. Everybody cheers for the boy you love, and you can’t be more grateful for it.


	3. Chapter Three

“Come here, my baby.” Kei’s mother kneels on the living room while cooing at her standing son, their distance is only six tiles apart. Kei took his first step when he was ten months old and wanted to grab a red octopus toy from the sofa. The entire family just finished their dinner and was screaming at the one-second moment, but once again sad because they didn’t manage to capture it. This time they’re lucky enough to realize that Kei is about to properly walk for the first time, so his father grabs a camera and presses on the record button like his life depends on it.

“Kei, you can do it!” Akiteru says, balling up his fists near his chest.

Kei makes some inaudible noises that sound like a mix of “mother” and “brother” before finally walking forward; awkward and unsteady, just like how a fourteen-month-old toddler should conduct himself. This house quickly becomes chaotic; his mother and brother keep beckoning to him while shouting some encouragement, and his father has to stop shaking so he won’t get a blurred video and get scolded for years.

Actually, _you_ saw Kei “walk” two days ago. It was sometime before noon, and he sat alone at a small table placed on the corner of his room. He was busy drawing abstract lines while his mother was hanging the laundry outside. You watched him switch colors every ten seconds, and he was good at making circles—or so to say, he was into circles more than other forms. Then out of nowhere, he stood up and went to the other side of the table, only to sit back down there without any purpose whatsoever.

Regardless of your little secret, what his family knows as his first walk shall be his _real_ first walk. You have no right to change that.

“What a smart boy!” His mother embraces him after a few steps, peppering his head and face with small kisses. He has no clue what he just accomplished, but he laughs anyway because he loves being touched by other people.

“Why does it take so long? I want to play outside with him already!” Akiteru groans, crossing his legs next to his mother.

“Shh, be patient, Akiteru. Every kid in the world must go through this process.”

“Well then, how long will it take before he can run?”

“Maybe one more year? It isn’t too long, right?”

Akiteru frowns and lifts one brow, looking like a failed detective act. “Tell me, Kaa-san, when did I start walking?”

“Hmm, around the same time as Kei. Both of you are fast-learners. I’m sure he’ll also do well in school, just like you.” She taps the tip of his nose. “You must wait for him, okay?”

“Will he start school at four?”

“He’ll start kindergarten at four, yes.”

“Will he go to my school?”

“Most likely since it’s the nearest.”

“Is that the reason why you didn’t throw away my old books?”

Both his mother and father smile at his questions, but before one of them says something back, Kei suddenly points at the stack of ancient reptiles figurines on the glass table behind them. “Ah—ino…” he mumbles out.

“Dino? You want the dinosaurs?” His father is the first one who understands, so he stands up and walks to the table. He picks a brown T-Rex and hands it to Kei, who seems happier than someone who’s meeting their spouse after a long time.

“He seems to like these reptiles a lot. His eyes always glimmer when looking at them,” his mother notes, looking at her husband. “I think we should get him dinosaurs books soon. In no time, he’ll be able to read.”

“I agree—”

“What did I like to read when I was little, Kaa-san?” Akiteru interrupts with another adorable query. Ever since the beginning, you know that there’s no hint of jealousy behind his words—he doesn’t ask because he wants to make everything about himself. He’s merely curious about his own past that might be just as memorable as Kei’s.

“You used to like lions.” His mother strokes the back of his head.

“I still like them! I think they’re the best animal ever!” Akiteru declares before gasping in sudden realization. “Kaa-san, Kei hasn’t watched _The Lion King_! He should! Let’s watch it now!”

“Hahaha, are you really going to watch it for the millionth time? All right, let’s clean up first.”

You aren’t here only after Kei is, but this will be your first time watching Akiteru’s favorite movie with this heartwarming family. The music is breathtaking, and the story is dramatic in the right way that even adults will enjoy. Unfortunately, Kei is too young to sit through a feature film because he ends up sleeping after twenty minutes, hugging the T-Rex between his and his mother’s chest. You wonder about what form of entertainment he’ll enjoy the most, but you don’t have to worry because you’ll be there to discover everything of him, just like his adoration of old creatures and how he always lies on his left side.


	4. Chapter Four

Here is the moment _you_ have been waiting for; Kei is attending his first day of school. His father is considerate enough to get permission to be late to work just to accompany him, so he drives Akiteru to school before going to Kei’s new kindergarten that is only five minutes away from there. It’s quite a special treatment for the oldest son because his father wakes up when he already begins the first period, so he’s been walking alone ever since he became a first-grader.

The opening ceremony happens as usual with the parents, students, and staff gathering in the main hall. The principle gives a speech that’s all about the generic promises about attending kindergarten, although not mandatory in Japan, will provide tremendous benefits. If all the parties involved work just as hard, the children should be proficient at reading and writing by the time they graduate, so they won’t have a difficult time adapting at the elementary level.

What piques your interest isn’t the talk, but a particular girl sitting in the first row with her parents, or to be more specific, three rows ahead of Kei. Since you’re by his side, you can see every _light_ that connects to him, be it people or other living beings. He shares a similar light with his family, neighbors, and some people in this room, but in this girl exists an incomparable kind as his; one that’s gratifying, ungrudging, and persevering despite not being related by blood.

Future isn’t absolute because of free will, but this instance exists when two people are meant to change each other’s life. They don’t have to be romantic partners like how humans tend to portray this story. It’s common for cousins or best friends to have this occurrence because “true love” is a broad term that can be used by anyone to anything. This girl can be the mother of Kei’s children or nothing more than a close coworker in the future. Whatever it shall be, you can’t wait to watch it get unfold. 

The ten minutes speech ends with an announcement that the one hundred and twelve new students will be divided into six classes. After saying goodbye to their parents, they’re called and gathered by their two homeroom teachers—one is an assistant—and head to their respective classroom in turns. The hallway is filled with all kinds of scenes; some are beyond energetic about joining school, and some are weeping because they have to be away from their comfort zone.

Kei is one of the few kids who chooses to be quiet. He doesn’t hide the confusion on his face, but he’s mature enough to even tell the girl next to him to “stop crying because there’s nothing to cry about”. The teachers are too busy handling the screaming kids so they can’t hear his wise advice. If they could, then you’re sure they would use him as the exemplary student. On the other hand, you can’t blame any of the little ones because making a problem out of nothing is toddlers’ job.

“Excuse me, may I go through?” A teacher from another class asks Kei. She’s holding hands with the girl from before who looks a lot shorter than him.

“Oh, I’m sorry…” Kei says, moving two steps sideways to create a path for them.

“It’s fine.” The teacher pats Kei’s head before walking past him. He glances at the girl, but she keeps her head down and blocks any view of her face.

This won’t be their last encounter since they’ll spend two years within the same building, but you find it very amusing to watch them meet for the first time without realizing it.


	5. Chapter Five

When Akiteru was in kindergarten, his parents taught him to be independent by letting him ride the bus provided by the school, so the exact rule is also applied to Kei. At first, Kei complains because he wants to be picked by his mother since their house isn’t that far and she has a _mamachari_. His parents only need to explain their purpose once for him to completely understand, proving that they’ve done an excellent job raising the boy into someone respectful.

At least one teacher should be present on the bus from the moment it’s empty until the last student is sent home safely. Kei’s only been in school for a month, but he’s appointed Watase as his favorite teacher. Watase is a multi-instrumentalist with a decent voice who teaches art and music, but what’s fun is how he always brings his black acoustic guitar when he’s the one in charge of going home with the students and plays it nonstop throughout the ride. He always picks what the students have learned in class so they all can sing along.

Kei’s favorite song should be _The Song of the Seashore_. It’s the first one he memorizes since his mother often sings it when he can’t sleep and hums it when she’s working around the house. _In the morning, as I wandered about along the seashore, I remembered things from the old times. The sound of the wind, the shape of the cloud, the wave that came, and the color of the seashell too._ Not only can he pronounce it well, he’s also able to write some of the lyrics.

“Sensei, play _The Song of the Beach_!” shouts the girl who sits behind the driver; she’s the one having Kei’s unique light. You’ve watched her over the past few weeks, and you notice that she rarely uses the bus because her father usually drives her to school. Once in a while just like today, he has something else to do and asks the teachers to take care of his daughter.

“All right, let’s start.” Watase strums in a slightly higher key than before, and everybody starts singing. Based on how enthusiastic the entire bus is, it seems like Kei isn’t the only one favoring the folk tune.

The funny thing is that Kei finally knows the girl’s name and so does her existence because everybody calls her a good singer—the teacher also mentions “a nightingale” and explains it as a bird who sings well. They don’t lie. Fifty kids are yelling—half of them incoherently—yet her voice can be easily distinguished because of how powerful and clear it is. Kei always thinks his mother is the best singer, so when he listens to her better, he can imagine her grow to be just as sweet-sounding as her.

“If I’m in the same class as F/N next year, then I’ll be able to hear her sing more.”

Kei overhears the boy on the seat across from him and must agree. However, destiny is very mischievous. For the next six hundred days or so, nothing significant ever happens between them. They don’t get to be in the same class, let alone have a proper conversation. They don’t even bump into each other despite walking through the same hallway, passing through the same gate, and sometimes spending a lot of time in the same place.

Their graduation trip is to visit Lake Towada for a day. The school rents two big buses and splits the classes and staff, and they still have to be separated for meters away. You have the power to do things, but this is one of the cases where getting involved won’t be allowed. Seeing the nature of human brain, they’ll soon forget about each other if they graduate without creating some memories together, but if this is how it should go, then you have no option but to stand back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You won’t see the heroine until some time later because we need the angst with Akiteru.


	6. Chapter Six

After graduation, Kei ends up enrolling in Akiteru’s old elementary school, while F/N is sent to one of the best private institutions in Sendai. For _you_ who know the infinite, the years you must wait before seeing them meet again isn’t extensive. As long as you’re focusing on what lies in front of you, there’s no point in worrying about what will definitely happen.

Kei himself has changed a lot. He becomes nearsighted shortly after being a first-grader. He’s also grown to be the tallest person in his class. Because of this sudden growth spurt, some kids begin making fun of his appearance. When they learn about giraffes and utility poles, they call him as one. When they change into their gym uniform, they laugh at his bigger size. When they have lunch, they ask if he can tell what he’s eating because he’s blind.

Silence is all he gives until they follow him back to his house the day before the Golden Week. They keep reusing the same old remarks that he’s heard over a hundred times, and he’s bored. His lack of response is the reason why they get even more annoyed, and one of them dares to take a step closer and pull his glasses, grazing the skin around his left eye in the process. He winches because it hurts, but what upsets him is watching the glasses his parents bought lying on the dirty road.

“Hey, what was that?!”

Out of nowhere, Akiteru shouts and runs toward them. The bullies flee, and Kei doesn’t think about stopping them despite having enough strength to do it. He picks up his glasses, wipes them with his jacket, and wears them, but then quickly removes them after realizing that he must do something about the scratch he got. The friction created by the frame and the grazed skin feels very uncomfortable.

“Kei, what happened? Who are they?” Akiteru asks, trying to check if his brother’s face is fine.

“My classmates,” Kei answers nonchalantly. “They like calling me a giraffe, a pole, or a blind guy. I don’t know why they’re following me home today.”

“What?! That’s inappropriate! Why didn’t you tell me? Does your teacher know? Did you ever tell them to leave you alone?” Akiteru’s voice deepens with anger.

Kei shakes his head. “No… to all of your questions.”

“You should stand up for yourself! What they did was wrong!”

“…I’m sorry.”

Akiteru clicks his tongue before sighing. “You should tell them to stop tomorrow, and if they still don’t, you should tell the teachers, okay? Don’t be afraid because you aren’t the wrong one.”

“Okay.”

Akiteru takes Kei’s glasses to inspect it thoroughly before heaving a sigh of relief. “Good thing it isn’t broken. You shouldn’t tell our parents about this, okay? I don’t want them to worry. But you should always talk to me. I’ll even go to your school and scold those kids myself if I have to.”

“You don’t have to, Nii-chan, but thank you.”

“Good boy.” Akiteru offers his hand. “Let’s go home.”

Kei nods, holding onto Akiteru tight before walking toward their home that is only a block away. He’s a little shocked over what just happened because that was the first time somebody ever got physical with him. His parents never lay a hand on him or Akiteru. The worst they’ve done is raising their voice and glaring with hands on their hips. They don’t use hurtful words. Sometimes they say “you’re naughty” or “clean this before I get even more upset”, but that’s it.

It happens fast, but Kei starts weeping when he thinks about how bad he’s actually treated. He realizes that he doesn’t really have friends at school, and his other classmates just ignore him when he gets picked on. The teachers don’t get any report from the other students because nobody cares enough to defend him. Maybe it’s his fault for being too withdrawn, or he’s just too scary so his classmates don’t really want to get involved with his problem. They might think that he can handle everything by himself.

“Kei, do you realize that I’m also very tall? Some people used to say mean things to me too,” Akiteru says. “Being tall or having poor eyesight isn’t a mistake. In fact, it’s a blessing. You must be special if only a few people can have what you have.”

“You think so…?” Kei asks between his muffled sobs. If you could, then you would force him to let it all out. A kid should be more expressive and emotional. Sadly, the one you’re watching over is neither.

“Hey, why don’t you try joining the volleyball team?” Akiteru suggests. “I saw my school play last week, and they were good. I’ve been thinking of joining them.”

“But… aren’t you in the soccer team?”

“Yes, and it’s boring. Volleyball is a sport for tall people like us, and I think it isn’t as aggressive as basketball. I’ll discuss it with Kaa-san tonight.”

Kei is still crying, and his nose is getting runny, but he takes his brother’s advice to heart. If Akiteru states that volleyball is made for people like him, then he should try it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was supposed to be a serious chapter, but I was laughing writing it. I think it was because of Kei’s “wtf is this” attitude.


	7. Chapter Seven

“Did you cry to your brother after we left?” During the lunch break the next day, the bullies come to Kei’s desk, and one of them asks him the expected question. The funny thing about this kind of people is that they’re in fact afraid if they face real troubles, but they try to hide it by acting tough.

“I bet you did! Your body is huge, but inside, you’re just a loser!” another kid adds.

Kei curls his lips as he tries to remember what Akiteru taught him. “Do you actually want to be just like me?” he asks, staring right into each of their eyes.

“What?” The first kid frowns. “Why do we want to be someone ugly like you?”

Kei stands up, slamming his hands against the table until half of the class turn their eyes to him. “That’s not true. You know I’m far from being ugly. Are you just jealous because I’m tall and look good with glasses? You can be honest with me, or I’ll ask our teachers about the truth.”

The kid seems to be surprised by Kei’s sudden clap back and laughs nervously. “No, but you’re really a loser for trying to tell the teachers!”

“Look at this.” Kei points at the bandage covering the side of his left eye. “If you hurt me again, I’ll tell what you did yesterday not only to the teachers but also the principle. You can get expelled. Do you know what ‘expelled’ means? They’ll call your parents, and you must leave school forever.”

They become speechless before looking at each other and leaving Kei alone. One of them still tries to act cool by kicking the leg of his table, but he ignores him and sits back down to continue reading his English book. There’ll be a test during the last period, and although he’s always had a good mark, he isn’t the smartest kid in the class. If Akiteru can consistently be ranked in the top five, so can he. The only role model he needs in this world is his older brother.

After the school ends, Kei runs to the second gym where the volleyball team is usually gathered. Joining a club isn’t a must, so only a few students—mostly those from the higher grades—are doing it. The most popular option is the choir because everybody wants to be a singer, but their team is pretty good as they’ve won several local competitions. The students are the least interested in sports, and it might be because it looks stressful and tiring. Even the mundane and messy garden club always has more members.

“Sensei!” Kei heads toward the only coach and advisor for the volleyball club. She doesn’t teach PE for his class, but they’ve seen each other numerous times before. It isn’t hard to remember him since he always appears a little different than most of his friends.

“Ah, you are…?”

“I’m Tsukishima Kei from class 1-3. Can I join the volleyball team?”

“Oh!” The teacher instantly beams. “Of course you can! But may I know the reason?”

“I must use my height for something good,” he says before showing a handbag he’s been carrying the whole day. “I’ve brought extra clothes. Can I start today?”

“Today?” She chuckles, ruffling Kei’s hair. ”All right, Tsukishima. I need to take care of your registration first, but you can start today. Welcome to the volleyball club. I’m sure you’ll do great here.”

“Thank you, Sensei.” He smiles. He can’t wait until dinner time so he can tell everything to his family.


	8. Chapter Eight

“I did it! I got chosen as the starting lineup!” Akiteru screams the moment he walks into the dining room. His mother is helping Kei do his homework, and they come to a full stop to stare at him, mouth opened in wonder.

“Congratulations!” Kei shouts as he leaves the chair and runs to hug Akiteru. “You’re so cool, Nii-chan! Can we play volleyball again after I finish my homework? I only have a few questions left.”

“Of course. Don’t worry.” Akiteru smiles at Kei before heading to the kitchen to put a bag of two empty lunch boxes beside the sink so his mother can wash them later.

Two months ago, the Tsukishima brothers joined their school’s volleyball club, and it took Akiteru less than five meetings to find out that he’s quite skilled at it. His coach said that he can play at any position, but he shines the best at being a spiker, which is what they call the main scorer of the team. Their very first national-level tournament will be held in a month from now. It isn’t surprising when the coach picks him as one of the starting players despite being only in his first year.

Knowing how good Akiteru is, Kei has been asking him to teach some of the tricks he learned at school. Akiteru goes home at seven—he used to think it was a nuisance when he was part of the soccer team—and plays with Kei in their backyard for around thirty minutes before taking a shower and having dinner. He’s always tired, but spending time with Kei is something that he will never exchange for anything. The only time he must skip is when he has lots of homework to do, or he has to study for a test.

Before Kei was born, their parents built a small basketball court in the backyard that could accommodate a three-on-three game. Akiteru used to play there, but he rarely did it when he joined the soccer club, and it got even worse now that he’s found his favorite sport. But thanks to his height and stamina, he isn’t bad at basketball. Maybe one day when he gets a little sick of spiking and passing, he’ll spend his weekend playing basketball instead.

“I’m done!” Kei announces, jumping from the veranda to the backyard. He’s young and lively, but often _you_ worry he’ll fall and injure himself. It’ll be too eerie to save him if he strikes down head first when many people are watching.

“That was quick. Did you make sure Kaa-san check on all your answers?” Akiteru asks, softly tossing up a volleyball with one hand.

“She did! I got everything right!”

“Hahaha. All right, smart boy. What did you learn today?” Akiteru passes the ball to Kei, and he catches it. He’s improved a lot that he can play against older guys, but as a six-year-old child, his reflex and strength are still weak.

“We still did some spiking, but next week we’ll be taught how to block.” Kei throws the ball back to Akiteru, and he receives it with both hands, giving it back to Kei. Kei struggles with copying the same form because his arms are too skinny, so the ball falls into the ground.

“Maybe you’ll be good at blocking. It feels good when you can gain a point by blocking the opponents. At least for me, blocking is harder than spiking because the ball can fall inside or outside of your net. You have to be very smart at it,” Akiteru says.

“I’ll do my best, but I want to be a spiker like you.” Kei tosses the ball to Akiteru. It’s pretty low, but Akiteru manages to receive it by bending his knees. It spirals perfectly to Kei, and Kei sends it back to his brother. Their stable motion only lasts for a couple seconds before Kei makes another mistake of not being able to reach for the ball.

“Kei, you don’t have to be like me,” Akiteru says. “None of my friends have similar playstyle. Everyone has their own use in the team. No role is better or worse.”

“Yeah, but… you look so cool when you play. Not even my coach is as cool as you.” Kei picks the ball and hugs it, waiting for Akiteru to walk closer to him.

“If you look up to me, then you have to let me decide. If I think you’re good at being a blocker, then you should be one. How about that?” Akiteru pokes Kei’s nose before snatching the ball, dribbling it like an extremely light basketball as he goes back to his previous spot.

Kei smiles. “All right. I trust you, Nii-chan.”

He never lies when he says that. You’ve been watching them closely, so you know how much he adores and respects Akiteru. He doesn’t talk much about his problems because he tends to forget them, but when he’s in a pinch and needs somebody to listen, he’ll choose Akiteru instead of his parents. Anything Akiteru says is right and absolute, and that’s why he thinks that he doesn’t need anybody else as long as Akiteru is there.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit have no idea what I’m writing from this moment on.

_Tsukishima-kun, will you meet me near the rabbit shed after club?  
I have something urgent and important to tell you, so please come alone._

His first winter in elementary school has just begun, and Kei finds a folded pink paper inside his locker. He doesn’t register it as a love letter because he’s never experienced such a thing before, so he’s a little terrified by the meaning behind the request—or demand? Who wrote these words? If they must say something urgent and important, then why don’t they do it now within the school building? Why do they need him to go that far?

_You_ are pretty sure that Kei hasn’t watched any crime movies, so it’s funny when he starts speculating that the letter might come from people who want to hurt him. Maybe it’s the kids who used who bully him and hate that he’s doing fine now. It can also be those who got angry when he reminded the history teacher about their homework last week. He has a hard time believing that somebody wants to be nice to him.

He keeps the letter inside his coat as he goes to the gym to change his clothes, but he can’t stop thinking about the mysterious person. Since he doesn’t have anyone he can trust enough in the team and a way to contact Akiteru, he can only dream for a piece of advice as his day goes on. It’s freezing after the sun sets, so he sprints as fast as possible to the back area of the school, where the chicken and rabbit sheds have been placed way before he joined the school.

“T-Tsukishima-kun!” It doesn’t take long for a girl to call his name. She wears a red coat with white synthetic fur around the hood and a big ribbon on her chest. His first impression of her is that she’s stunning, but also creepy because the sky is darkening and there aren’t enough lamps lighting the area.

“Did you write me the letter?” Kei asks as he walks closer to her.

“Yes, I did.” The girl coyly smiles, clasping both of her hands. “Uh, thank you for coming, Tsukishima-kun.”

“Why did you write me the letter?” He sounds and looks like he’s going to fight her if she doesn’t get to the point soon.

“M-my sister. She said I should do that if I…” she stops to chew her bottom lip, eyes fluttering and hands trembling. “…I like you, Tsukishima-kun.”

“What do you mean? Is that the urgent and important thing you need to tell me?” He doesn’t wait for a second to convey his confusion.

“It is!” she admits. “I like you. Do you like me too?”

“No. I don’t even know who you are, and I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

Her mouth agape in embarrassment after realizing that she’s gotten off to a bad start. “I’m Futaba Mei from class 1-2. Our class is next to each other. I’ve always been watching you, Tsukishima-kun!”

“Uh, okay.” He scratches the back of his head. “I just knew you, so I don’t think I like you.”

“I don’t mind! We can try being boyfriend and girlfriend!”

_You don’t mind, but Kei does! Oh my. This kid’s parents should not let her watch a lot of romance movies because she’s still way too young. They should keep an eye on her sister too._ You think to yourself.

“Huh? No, that’s weird. Why would I become your boyfriend?” Kei asks. “Do you have something else—eh, why are you crying?”

“You’re stupid, Tsukishima-kun! I hate you!” the girl punches his shoulder before running away. He can’t process whatever just happened, so the only thing he does is watch her disappear from his sight. He sighs before walking home, deep lines carved on his forehead. She cries, and honestly, he feels guilty about it.

He shares everything to his family during dinner, and he gets even more puzzled they laugh. They teach him that people can feel attraction toward someone they consider attractive, and they’ll be honest with their feeling through something called “a confession”. He’s a smart and handsome boy who plays volleyball, so he’s bound to become popular among the ladies. His family doesn’t go through a longer length of explaining the meaning behind “I like you” because he’s going to learn it himself one day.

On Valentine’s Day the next year, he receives six anonymous chocolates in his locker and another confession from a classmate. Instead of being proud or happy about it, he gets scared and rejects her, causing her to bawl in the hallway. Some begin to gossip about how he’s “the bad guy” for breaking people’s heart like he ever wishes for it to happen. After a long while, you finally wonder if F/N will be like these girls once she sees Kei. He might hate her if she does, and you can’t let that happen.


	10. Chapter Ten

“Don’t let him score, Kei-kun!”

Hearing his homeroom teacher’s instruction, Kei jumps and raises his hands, blocking the sixth-grader in front of him. If it were a real tournament, he would’ve lost the point since the ball falls into his zone, but the rule is made easier for the kids; as long as they can stop the ball, regardless of the trajectory, the point will be theirs. The entire class cheers for him because with that, they finish the last set and will be going into the finals of the school’s annual sports day.

“You did a great job, Kei-kun!” One guy approaches Kei and slaps his back several times. “You brought us to victory! As expected from an experienced player!”

“…I’m not that experienced,” Kei shyly replies before heading to the rest of his teammates. They bow to the opponents’ team and do the same thing to the crowd watching them.

You still have a hard time believing it, but this is Kei’s third year playing volleyball. Just like Akiteru had predicted, he’s been to many amateur tournaments as one of the main blockers of his team and won a few of them, making quite a name for his previously-unknown school. People love to watch him play; he’s cute, but more than that, he’s an intelligent and calm individual who knows what to do during the game. If he can be more vocal, you’re sure he can be a great leader.

“Nii-chan!” After the award ceremony, Kei runs to his number one fan on the sideline. You kind of feel bad for his mother because she’s the person who’s watched all of his games when Akiteru is busy doing his own thing, yet in his world, Akiteru always holds the highest place.

“Congratulations, Kei. That was a perfect block-out.” Akiteru stretches out his palm and Kei gives him a high five.

“It’s because I learned from you, Nii-chan.” Kei beams proudly. If he could, then he would tell everyone that his brother is the one to be credited for training him. Akiteru would probably scold him for not appreciating his own effort, but he doesn’t know any better.

“No way. I’m not that good of a blocker,” Akiteru says. “Kaa-san said that she’s going to treat us some fried chickens. Get your bag and don’t forget to say goodbye to your friends and teachers, okay?”

“Okay!” Kei smiles before going back to his classmates across the court. As if his family will disappear if he’s a second too late, he does everything in a rush—he even misses the part where his teacher says that his coach wants to see him later and some people who want to give him a token of admiration.

They visit Akiteru’s favorite fast food restaurant near their house—the place can be reached within five minutes of walking. It’s still before three in the afternoon, so almost every seat is available. They pick a table with sofa near the window and let their mother order a bucket of fried chickens and two boxes of fries. For the drink, she asks for three glasses of cola, but Akiteru requests for a cup of coffee instead. They should get everything served faster than usual.

“Shiratorizawa’s uniform looks really nice,” her mother remarks, staring at a group of girls in a white blazer and purple skirt sitting two tables apart from them. “When I was younger, I dreamed of attending that school. Why don’t you try for it, Akiteru? We can afford the tuition, and we don’t mind if you stay in the dorm.”

“Dorm? No, I don’t want you to move out of the house!” Kei interrupts, pouting at them. His fast reaction causes them to giggle, but they should know that he’s serious about it. He’s never been away from Akiteru. He could barely survive the days Akiteru left for school trips, let alone three years. Sure Akiteru can be home during the weekends, but that won’t be enough.

“Don’t worry, Kei. I don’t want to move out either. I don’t even think I can pass their exam. Most of their students got in through a scholarship, and I don’t think I’ll get an offer,” Akiteru says.

“Don’t say that, Nii-chan! You’re very smart! You can get in if you want to!”

“Oh?” Akiteru grins. “So now you’re saying that I must try and move out?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Oh, yeah? Are you really telling the truth? Maybe you actually want me to move out so you can have all the snacks in the house for yourself?”

“No way…” Kei turns to mumble, looking like he’s about to cry his heart out. “Nii-chan, I really don’t want you to leave, so please don’t…”

“Hey, I know, Kei.” Akiteru brushes the back of his hand against Kei’s cheek, preventing him from misunderstanding his joke. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay by your side forever. Have I ever broken a promise I made to you?”

Kei shakes his head, and all at once, he smiles. One thing he’s sure about Akiteru is his honesty, so if Akiteru says that they’ll be together forever, then they shall be.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is too sudden, and I break the rule of the limited POV, and is actually an example of bad writing, but HAHAHA.

_You_ have been keeping an eye on a student from another class named Yamaguchi Tadashi. He’s going to be one of Kei’s closest friends because he bears a light resembling Akiteru’s, so when it feels like it’s about time for them to meet, you’ve become more attentive than usual. A month, two months, a year, and until their fourth year in elementary school starts; sometimes even you can’t wait to watch the big event to happen.

Sadly, when it does, Kei forgets everything too easily. Tadashi who’s small and meek causes three kids in his class to make fun of him and force him to carry their bags everywhere. He was like Kei three years ago, but he doesn’t seem to have someone like Akiteru in his life. So when Kei sees him being treated badly in the backyard when he’s on the way home, he can’t help but smirk and scare the bullies away because they know that they can’t beat someone way taller and bigger than them.

He’s like a hero from a comic book, and that’s why Tadashi has been silently following him for the next couple of weeks. He learns that Kei is very smart, but people don’t call him a teacher’s pet. Behind his back, he’s called handsome by many girls, but he doesn’t care. He’s also a member of the school’s volleyball team, so Tadashi assumes that it’s one of the reasons why he can be so brave. The strong belief brings him to the volleyball team’s coach, where he decides to register himself despite not being fully sure about it.

“M-my name is Yamaguchi Tadashi. N-nice to meet you all.” Tadashi even struggles to get through his sentence, and he looks very awkward when bowing in front of the twenty members of the volleyball team.

Kei looks at Tadashi like he’s just any other kid in the gym, but he can’t help but notice that the boy is always standing near him during the small breaks they have between the games. They speak a little about his expensive shoes and how hot the weather is, but nothing interests him that much. If he has to be honest, Tadashi frightens him a bit. It’s like Kei is a character in a horror movie where two eyes are always gawking at him without him realizing it.

“T-Tsukishima-kun.” Tadashi confronts Kei in the gate after his first day in the club. “Sorry, uh… Are you busy?”

Kei raises a brow, staring at Tadashi with one hand clutching the strap of his bag. “What do you mean with ‘busy’? Aren’t we all about to go home?”

“Yes? Yes!” Tadashi exclaims. “So can we maybe walk home together?!”

“…sure.”

“All right.” Tadashi looks very happy, and Kei doesn’t understand it. “So, Tsukishima-kun… You said your brother is in Karuno High School? Will you tell me more about him?”

“It’s Karasuno,” Kei corrects him, blushing a little. It’s the ninth time Kei experiencing spring, and Akiteru has become the freshman of Karasuno High. He chose the school because it’s nearby, inexpensive, and most importantly, for the past five years their volleyball team has grown from being unnoticeable to one of the best in the prefecture. Throughout his last year in middle school until the day he graduated, Shiratorizawa or any other far-off schools was never mentioned again. He kept his promise of not leaving Kei, so Kei can’t stop boasting about his amazing brother.

Just like him, you go back to thinking about Akiteru. Their age gap seems to be more apparent when he’s already in high school while Kei is still halfway through his elementary years, but they never stop doing their evening practice. They discuss their beloved sport more than their homework, but of course, they’ll share the ups and downs they had in class that day. Because something interesting always happens to Akiteru, they never run out of things to say.

“Today a weird kid joined our team,” Kei says when they rest on the veranda after fifteen minutes of passing. It’s rare for him to talk about someone, so Akiteru looks serious about it. “He said that I helped him from getting bullied a few weeks ago, which I don’t remember. He said he wants to play volleyball because he wishes to be stronger.”

“Oh? Is he younger than you?”

“No. We’re in the same grade, but we’ve never been in the same class.”

“What’s his name?”

“Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

“Wow, you remember! He must’ve left a great impression because you don’t even remember the name of the girls who confessed to you,” Akiteru teases him. “But how’s your team? Have you found a close friend? Wait, have you ever actually gone home with someone?

Kei hugs the ball around his stomach. “Kind of.”

“What do you mean ‘kind of’?” Akiteru lightly hits Kei’s head with his knuckle. “You should smile more, Kei. You’ll be more approachable that way.”

“I am approachable.”

“No, you aren’t. You always scowl, so you scare people away.”

“I don’t scare anyone!”

“Uh, right now I’m scared of you…”

The brother’s funny banter makes you enjoy the night a little more. You agree about the cold air surrounding Kei that results in the wall built between him and the new people who want to know him better, but Yamaguchi Tadashi—who tries so hard—should be the first stranger to climb over it.

“By the way, Nii-chan, what’s your position in the team? You said that they would announce it soon?” Kei continues.

“Yup. We have so many good players this year, but I’m positive that I’ll be a starting player just like before,” Akiteru says.

“I know. You won’t lose from anyone.”

Akiteru smiles. “Right.”


	12. Chapter Twelve

“Kei-kun, we’ll be in the same class this year!” Tadashi shouts in front of the announcement board, startling a few students standing around them.

“I know, but please don’t be so loud about it. There’s nothing special about us being in the same class,” Kei mutters before heading to their new classroom. The bell won’t ring for the next fifteen minutes and their desk will be decided by the homeroom teacher, but it’s always good to be early.

“Of course there is!” Tadashi says. “Now we can go to the club together and talk about volleyball a lot!”

“Sure. I guess it’s nice,” Kei calmly says. He even yawns twice before reaching the class and his desk. Tadashi’s desk is two rows behind him, but after putting his bag, Tadashi immediately walks to him. He’s known Tadashi for almost a year, so he’s aware of how talkative Tadashi is around him.

“How’s your brother, by the way? The All-Star Tournament will begin next month. He’s the ace of a powerhouse school, so he should be busy.” Because the person sitting in front of Kei hasn’t arrived yet, Tadashi seats himself there.

“Yup. He goes home really late, so we haven’t been able to talk that much. We still play volleyball together in the evening, or anytime we can. He’s in the starting lineup, so he needs to practice more than the rest. I don’t want to tire him out.”

“So cool. He’s like a star.” Every time Tadashi speaks about Akiteru, his eyes sparkle with fascination. “Are you going to watch his match? Can I come?”

“He doesn’t want me to.”

“Eh, why?”

“He said that I’m going to make him nervous and lose focus.”

“Really? That’s too bad then…” Tadashi sighs, but it isn’t long before his face glows again. “What if you make him a good luck charm?”

Kei mulls over the idea for a moment before frowning. “Sure, but I can’t think of an idea. I can’t sew or make bracelets.”

“When they were students, my mother gave my father a four-leaf clover bookmark. The park near my house grows clovers. If we can find some four-leaf ones, I’m sure my mother can help us out,” Tadashi explains like he’s been planning this for a long time.

“Is it okay? I don’t want to bother—”

“It’s okay!” Tadashi grabs Kei’s hands, convincing him with a wide grin. “Don’t worry. We’ll do something nice for your brother because he deserves it. If you can’t be with him during the game, at least the charm can represent you.”

“…okay then.” Kei smiles. “I’m in.”

Right after their club activity ends, the two friends dash to the park a street away from Tadashi’s house. Some younger kids play with the slides and swing sets, but they pay no attention to them as they head to where the clovers grow. They only have half an hour left before it’s dark, which will make it difficult for them to see things as small as clovers. There’s always tomorrow but might as well finish everything today while they can.

This time, _you_ decide to help them just because you feel like it. You send a strong gust of wind to catch Kei’s attention, and you make it so he gazes at the edge of the green lawn. Words can’t describe the spiritual connection you have with him, but he can understand what you’re trying to do as he walks to where you need him to be. He must consider his action as “something told me I would find it there”. That _something_ is surely _you_.

“I found one!” Kei says after less than a minute of searching. “Ah, here’s another one. I got two, what about you, Yamaguchi?”

“What? You’re lucky, Kei-ku—oh, I found one too!” It’s Tadashi’s turn to be proud of his job. You have nothing to do with it, so it could be another power behind his back who chooses not to reveal itself to you or just pure luck.

“Should we look for more? I think the shapes I got are good.” Kei shows the clovers on his palm to Tadashi, in which the latter does the same. They inspect what they have and simultaneously nod when they feel happy with them.

“Let’s go back to my house. You should call your mother before she gets worried,” Tadashi says, handing his clover to Kei. “You have bigger hands, so they’re safer with you.”

Kei giggles, unsure about Tadashi’s new theory but he accepts it anyway.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Kei stands in front of Akiteru’s room, holding a four-leaf clover bookmark with a red ribbon on the upper side. The door isn’t fully closed and he’s about to barge in, but he stops when he hears some yelling from the inside. He leans forward to get better listening of what’s going on. Akiteru is sweet and kind, but it doesn’t mean that he can’t get angry at someone; for example, he’s going to scold Kei for eavesdropping like this. But the little brother is too curious about the person Akiteru is speaking to that he doesn’t mind about the consequences.

“I get what you mean, Itsuki!”

Itsuki. It’s Akiteru’s best friend on the phone, so what are they bickering about?

“Yes, I know I’ve been keeping it for more than two years. Don’t you think I’m remorseful? I know, but it’s going to break his heart. I can’t. I understand your concern. Thank you for that even, but I…” Akiteru pauses to take a deep breath. “Itsuki, let it be. I’ll think of a way out when he finds out about it himself. Maybe then he’ll understand why I’m doing this. Let’s not speak about it anymore, or I’ll go crazy. I’m about to lose my mind every time I look at his face.”

“…Nii-chan?” Somehow, Kei has the gut to push the door, surprising Akiteru who shoots him a horrifying glare. “Uh… Are you o—”

“How long have you been there?!” Akiteru abruptly ends his call with Itsuki before squeezing his phone, perhaps as a way to suppress his wrath. The sound of his shivering voice is terrifying until Kei doesn’t dare to take another step. For eleven years of being together, it’s the first time Kei feels like a monster who doesn’t deserve to be in this room.

“S-sorry, Nii-chan… I was there for only a minute or two…” Kei explains before showing the bookmark he’s made for Akiteru. “…I want to give you this good luck charm. Since I’m not allowed to watch your games, Yamaguchi said that I should make one of these. His mother helped me… I’m sorry… Please don’t get angry…”

After finding the kind reason behind Kei’s interference, Akiteru’s facial expression changes into one of being regretful. He suddenly kneels and hugs Kei—he doesn’t actually need to do it because it makes Kei taller than him. It’s been a long time since he last did it because they’ve grown into big boys that doing this would be embarrassing. When Kei thinks the embrace is about to end, Akiteru presses their bodies tighter.

“Thank you, Kei…” Akiteru mutters, letting go after a long while. “…and I’m really sorry. Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“No, it’s okay. It was my bad for appearing out of nowhere,” Kei says, handing the bookmark that he protected with both hands from the hug. “Do you like it? Yamaguchi and I gathered some four-leaf clovers from the park near his house. We got lucky to find them pretty quickly.”

Akiteru smiles, staring so lovingly at the handmade craft. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Did you have a fight with Itsuki-san?”

“No. Just… small misunderstanding. We’ll get through it.”

“All right. If you say so, Nii-chan.” Kei smiles. “As an ace, I hope you can carry your team again this year. You’re the best volleyball player I’ve ever known. Don’t give up, okay?”

Akiteru says “okay” so optimistically, but he’s ashamed of himself. He’s about to cry because he’s very much guilt-ridden, so that’s why he hides his face and bites his lip until it almost bleeds. He doesn’t realize what he’s been doing to both of them, but _you_ do because you know his secret; he’s been lying to his family about being in the starting lineup of his team. That’s why Itsuki called him out. He’s good at it, but he’s also lucky for having guileless victims who’ve always thought of him as a righteous kid who would never hurt anyone.

He might not be able to perceive what’s real anymore because of the countless times he’s gone back home and talked about the day he didn’t have. He often boasts about doing a hundred jump serves and getting praised by his coach, while in fact, it happens to somebody else. The stories he gives can land him an expensive book deal just based on how believable they are. It isn’t hard swapping somebody else’s role and name into his own, but he must pat himself on the back for never slipping up.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

“I can’t believe we’re going to be in middle school next year.” When the second recess starts, Kei heads to Tadashi’s desk. “I’m planning to attend Amemaru. What about you, Yamaguchi?”

“I haven’t talked to my parents about it, but I think I’ll also go to Amemaru because it’s nearby.” Yamaguchi puts his pencils and erases into his blue robot case.

“Their volleyball team is still going strong. I’m interested in that.”

“Akiteru left a legacy when he graduated. People knew the school when he was the ace, so stronger players would join because of him.”

“You think so?” Kei smiles. “I hope he’ll do the same for Karasuno.”

“Ah, maybe if he wins the next tournament, he’ll be scouted by a professional league?”

Kei shrugs. “That’ll be a dream come true, but then he has to move out of town…”

“I know, but it’s for the best. Isn’t it nice if you can say ‘my brother got scouted by a professional volleyball team when he was still a high student’?”

“Tsukishima, is your brother is on the Karasuno volleyball team? Mine too.”

Kei rarely talks about himself to people who aren’t extremely close to him, so only a few people in the class have heard about Akiteru or the rest of his family. It’s such a coincidence when he speaks to Tadashi about it, one of the kids hear it.

“What position does he play?” the kid asks, a smile on his face.

“Wing spiker,” Kei says.

“It’s really hard getting into the team, isn’t it? Tomorrow’s match will be their last game in high school if they can’t win and go to Tokyo, but not once has my brother ever played on the court.”

“But Kei’s brother is good! He’s been the ace of the team since he was in middle school!” Tadashi comes in Kei’s defense.

“What?” The kid frowns, tilting his head sideways. “No way. I watched some of their games and there was no one named ‘Tsukishima’ in the starting line.”

It’s the very first time Kei is feeling extremely insulted by somebody’s statement, so he glares at the kid. “Don’t spout nonsense. He always talks about all the games he’s been in.”

“Who’s talking nonsense?” The kid folds his hands. “Then what if the three of us go to the game tomorrow to prove who’s right? There’s no way he was the ace only when I wasn’t watching.”

Kei wants to retort or perhaps smack the guy in the head, but Tadashi grips his shirt, stopping him from making a scene over something that they both know isn’t true. The bell rings and they must go back to their own desk. The rest of the lesson goes as usual, but it’s a lie if Kei says that he isn’t worried about the things he just heard. _You_ can listen to his heart; he knows Akiteru as a brother who never lies. There’s just no way Akiteru would not be the ace of his team.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

The next morning, Kei visits the Sendai Gymnasium with Tadashi and their classmate who’s still very skeptical of Akiteru. They stand on the bleacher of the main stadium, looking down at the players from Karasuno High. Kei looks everywhere to prove his point; the court, the seat where the coach and manager rest, and all the sidelines just in case Akiteru can’t play for some reason. He starts to feel dizzy when his brother isn’t there, and even more because his so-called friend keeps shouting about how he’s right like he’s going to win an award for it.

But he quickly finds Akiteru on the bleacher across from him. It isn’t hard to spot somebody who looks almost identical to him, and it’s even easier because they stand on the same level. His brother is surrounded by many people wearing the same black jersey with orange plastic megaphones in each hand. He, the one who’s supposed to be the ace of this powerhouse school, is doing nothing more than cheering for the real players down there.

_You_ have expected the meltdown to happen, but it still feels painful when Kei only needs seconds to change his view of Akiteru. It’s embarrassing to have a brother like him, so when their eyes meet, Kei feels like he doesn’t want to see Akiteru anymore. He rushes down the stairs, passing through the sea of strangers who must be faking their happiness over a stupid sport, just like somebody he thought he understood well. His destination is the nearest bus stop, but the next ride will arrive in eleven minutes or so. He’s stuck here.

“Kei!”

Upon noticing Akiteru, Kei runs to the other direction. He isn’t ready to face him. He doesn’t know what to say, and he’s too afraid to hear anything because he won’t know which one is right and wrong. Maybe Akiteru wasn’t even the ace back in middle school. Maybe other people who called him as one was also living in deception. What about all the stories he said for the last couple of years? Was none of them true?

“Kei, stop!” Being the one with longer legs and higher stamina, Akiteru manages to grip Kei’s arm, halting the boy from getting any further.

“Don’t touch me, liar!” Kei pulls his arm back before pushing Akiteru. “Why don’t you go back to your team, Ace?”

“Kei, please!” Akiteru begs, face going pale like he’s about to faint anytime soon. “I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. Will you let me explain? Please…”

“I don’t want to. You’re only going to lie again, aren’t you?”

“I won’t—”

“No! I don’t want to hear anything from you, and don’t you dare speak to me ever again!”

Kei may shout some childish words which he doesn’t mean from the bottom of his heart, but because it’s coming at the wrong time, it has enough power to make Akiteru cry. But Kei doesn’t get it. He’s the one getting hurt, so he should be the one wailing in the middle of the street where some people are watching. He recalls the word “selfishness” he learned some time ago. It’s when somebody only cares about their gain without considering what other people might feel.

Akiteru is selfish, so it won’t be wrong for Kei to stay away from somebody dangerous like him.

“Don’t come after me, Nii-chan,” Kei warns Akiteru who’s still unable to withhold his tears. Kei doesn’t wait for a response before running to another bus stop. Akiteru doesn’t try to stop him, but you know it’s because he doesn’t want to anger Kei, and that he must go back to his teammates.

_Kei, take a moment to calm yourself. You're selfish too. You should at least listen to him. When it comes to you, Akiteru won’t do something out of hate._ You don’t do this too often, but you try to help him by whispering into his heart. Your words affect him quite a bit because all he does on his way to the bus stop is cry. It’s always sad seeing people who care about each other slowly drift away because of a simple misunderstanding.

Since he doesn’t want his mother to worry, after leaving the bus he goes to the park where he collected clovers for Akiteru and washes his face in the restroom. It isn’t difficult to stop crying—he only needs to think about funny moments—but he can’t hide his red and puffy eyes. Waiting until afternoon doesn’t sound like a good option because he wants to be home and hides in the room before Akiteru arrives. He really meant it when he told Akiteru to never come any closer to him.

As soon as he walks into his house, he sees his mother speaking to someone on their house phone. She looks worried and tells the person that “Kei just got home” before ending the call. Kei knows that it can’t be anyone other than Akiteru who was informing their mother about what just happened. Akiteru annoys him even more because now everyone will try to meddle in their business. Their parents will force them to apologize to each other, and they will most likely take Akiteru’s side because he’s the older and nicer one.

“Kei? Are you okay?” Kei’s mother walks to him and gives him a concerned look. “What’s going on? My two sons are fighting and crying? Talk to me, Kei. Let me help, okay?”

“I don’t want to,” Kei refuses.

“Akiteru said he lied to you because he didn’t want to disappoint you.” She wipes the hair sticking on his forehead. “You know Nii-chan loves you, right? All he wants is to be a good example to you.”

“So you say that a ‘liar’ is a ‘good example’? I told people about how cool he was. They probably knew the truth and laughed behind my back,” he says, and that’s probably the most sensible thing he’s ever told his mother.

“Kei, let’s—”

“I’ll go to my room.” He doesn’t let his mother speak as he runs to his room, locking himself before jumping into the bed. He doesn’t cry, but his chest continues burning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 will be when I’m in the mood. Thank you.


End file.
